How To Be a Lady: What Men Are Really Looking For

Dress the Part

A man may wax (almost) poetic about the appeal of a woman with her thong showing over the waist of her cut-off jeans, but that's not the kind of girl he's going to invite home for Thanksgiving with his mother. At the same time, baggy sweatpants don't do much for him, and they REALLY don't do much for your figure.

    - Wear clothes that fit--not too tight, not too loose.

    - Jeans are okay for casual wear, but wear a cute dress if he's taking you somewhere nice; feminity is very appealing to him, and makes him feel that much more manly.

    - Dress your age! If you are a woman in your thirties, don't try to dress like a teenager. Rather than appearing younger, you give off the impression of having very little class, and also being self-deceptive. A classy outfit for grown-ups includes a nice skirt (or slacks) that fits well (it should come down to your knees, at least, but not much lower or you'll look stumpy) and a pretty shirt (a pastel color and frills add a feminine touch).

    - That being said, it never hurt anyone to wear sexy lingerie. Men aren't really attracted to granny panties and support bras, so invest in some pretty panties and a push-up bra to emphasize your (ahem) assets. Just make sure nothing you wear UNDER your clothes is visible THROUGH your clothes.

    - In times past, movie starlets were often recognized by their signature perfume long before they entered any given room. A woman's scent can be intoxicating to a man. Take care to keep yourself very clean (to minimize unappealing body odor), and before you go out the door spritz on a light perfume: sultry or floral, it'll turn heads. Just be sure not to spray too much, or your "sexy" smell will become overpowering, and no one will want to be around you for fear of getting a massive migraine.

    - NEVER wear too much makeup. More is less where your makeup is concerned. Heavy eyeliner can be sexy, but not paired with dark lipstick and heavy blush. Emphasize your natural features--a good, fool-proof method is to wear just enough foundation to cover blemishes, a light dusting of blush that doesn't clash with your skintone, mascara, and lipgloss.
    
Act the Part

You can look like the classiest lady in the room, but if you open your mouth and a string of curse words spew forth then it don't mean a thing.

    - DON'T CURSE. Don't. This doesn't mean you can not express displeasure (though if you're constantly complaining about something, you'll come across as no fun to the great majority of men...the minority who agree with you aren't really worth your time). Just do so in a way that isn't vulgar.

    - Keep your legs together. Literally and figuratively. No one likes a slob or a ho. When sitting down, keep your legs crossed either at the ankle or the knee to prevent accidently revealing yourself to everyone in the room.

    - Try to remember names. There's nothing more gratifying than to know someone took the time to remember your name. Men eat it up. :)

    - Be yourself. Yeah, I know, most of this article is a list of ways to change your looks and behavior, but the most important thing is to not lose sight of who you are. Your basic personality should still shine through, because at the end of the day, that's what's going to attract your one and only.

Finally, being a lady isn't just about attracting men; it's about being good to yourself. You deserve to be able to respect yourself! Acting with class and feeling beautiful are only two ways of doing that (taking time out to take care of yourself is another). Be proud of the person you are, because self-confidence is the ultimate turn-on for men AND women.

Money and Power: Why Many Couples Choose to Elope

My soon-to-be-husband hurried across the street, dodging midday traffic expertly, his hand sweaty in mine as he pulled me along. I was fighting mental images of Billy Idol and shotgun weddings, feeling nervous and very young, our marriage license clutched in the hand that wasn't tightly clapsed in his.

We had a short wait before the Magistrate would see us, and we spent it on the courthouse steps, puffing on Marlboros and laughing uneasily at each other's half-hearted jokes. 

I think every girl grows up with dreams of a five tiered wedding cake and a white dress priced in the thousand dollar range, a retinue of attendants and, of course, the tears that will well up in her mother's eyes as the Wedding March begins to play. Despite the fact that single-motherhood is now the norm (and is at least somewhat encouraged by celebrities, those founts of morality), and women pursue careers with the same fervor they once pursued husbands, that dream will never really die.

In the case of myself and my husband, we were both very poor and inexperienced. By inexperienced, I mean we wouldn't have known how to plan a wedding even if our finances had not been well below the poverty line (and dropping). Both of our mothers are MIA, and we're both first-born children, with no elder brothers or sisters to set a precedent. So though initially we'd had fantasies of that traditional white-chapel ceremony, when it came down to the nitty-gritty, and we just couldn't wait any longer, we found ourselves outside the county courthouse, waiting our turn in the Magistrate's office.

There are some benefits to eloping. For one, there is no need to lay down half a year's salary for a dress and tux--the Mag will wed you in blue jeans (incidently, our chosen wedding attire). There is also no need to send out carefully worded invitations to family and friends. The very definition of elopement is "to slip away" (courtesy of Webster), and in times past couples eloped as a way to cover-up unplanned pregnancy, or escape disapproving family members (the former was not an issue for us, but the latter...well, that's another story). The act of eloping can also endow the couple with a sense of control at a time when all the other players on the field seem to hold power over them: their parents, their friends, their jobs, social pressures, time constraints...the list could go on forever. By "running away" together, the couple can control how and when they are wed, with no external intervention. The fall-out may come after the ceremony, but it won't begin during it because all they need are two witnesses (and one can assume the witnesses approve, since they are required to sign for the couple).

My husband and I found it a satisfying experience, particularly after it was over and we could relax a little in the knowledge that we were now officially man and wife. Being somewhat reserved in nature, we were glad to celebrate quietly together at a small restaurant and afterwards retire to the privacy of our own bedroom and...celebrate a little more.

About Cedmon

Age: 21

Height: short

Weight: climbing! :(

Style: rockin' jeans and a t-shirt

Likes: great writing, good food, long baths

Dislikes: I dunno...stuff

Currently: smoking...and thinking about quitting, but just thinking about it